By Luke Barber
A story is rapidly unfolding on Oak Lawn today, as Pelican has been informed that the yellow shirt belonging to first-year OGC candidate Hayden Smith is in need of a wash.
The 18 year-old Spark candidate has been campaigning at all legal hours of the day since Monday, and thinks his chances are pretty good.
“I’ve been really involved this year and gotten to know a lot of people. I’ve spoken to a lot of them who have voted for me, I think I might be in with a shot,” he told Pelican.
But some of his fellow candidates have expressed concerns that the stench from his shirt may not only be limiting his own chances, but the electability of the entire ticket.
“You can smell him from a mile off!” one senior Spark representative, who preferred to remain anonymous, told Pelican. “I’ve flagged it with the team, we need to speak to him before he turns voters away.”
It would appear that the sunny Perth weather this week has been the source of the issue, which has been further exacerbated by the shirt’s light-yellow fabric which make Hayden’s sweat marks very visible.
Asked about it, Hayden seemed embarrassed, then defensive.
“Oh shit, it’s not that noticeable is it??? I thought I put on enough Lynx this morning.”
“Well it’s not my fault I could only justify buying one yellow shirt! Yellow is a stupid colour, I can’t pull it off!”
Whether this internal division will significantly hamper Spark’s prospects for election remains to be seen.