guild politics is a life vicariously lived

it is Tom Beyer and Liam Staltari

pushing themselves to the cold glass screen of the 7:30 report

and whispering as if to a lover or absent father

why not me?

-Chad “no need to keep me anonymous” Bensky

I woke up today to a friend request from Max Riley, who I have since learned (hot scoop coming up!) was the semester one president of the B.Phil union. The B.Phil union makes me laugh, hey. You know the Future MBAs club in 10 Things I Hate About You? “Oh, that must be Nigel with the brie”, etc. Anyway, I had to reject the friend request as a power play.

A few rumours have been whispered into our inbox today. Firstly, some QUESTIONS have been RAISED as to presidential candidate Maddie Mulholland’s leftie credentials by SOME PEOPLE within STAR. Can anybody at a sandstone university rightfully claim leftie credentials? I’m going to come out right now and admit to being a former member of the UWA Young Liberals. I was alone and friendless and vulnerable on O Day, and $10 later I was receiving invites to intimate dinners with John Howard.

Apparently there are defectors in Liberty Launch LAUNCH, too. Science Union president Alex Tsaknis, who relied on Launch’s support to win the Science Union election in late 2014, allegedly now “wants nothing to do with Launch”. I understand – red isn’t my colour either. Clashes with my hair.

Has anyone heard from Left Action?

Tell us about your plans for the weekend and your HOT ELECTION GOSS, [email protected]

Words by Kat Gillespie

Correction: This article originally stated incorrectly that Max Riley is the current B.Phil union president. Apologies to the actual current president, Emma Turner. We did Teach Learn Grow together once. – eds.