Image Description: ‘Hide the pain Harold’ doing what he does best: hiding his pain.

 

By Campbell Williamson

 

Amazing! UWA security guards hate her! Learn the one simple trick that this local woman uses to beat the rule sticklers of UWA Library, and actually talk on the third floor!

“Amazing!” Local woman, Jen exclaimed! “I can talk wherever I please, because the rules no longer apply to me and I can do whatever I want! And what’s more nobody even notices! All I have to do is whisper! Quietly!”

“It means that I can talk about whatever I want and because I’m whispering it will no longer disturb those around me! Why I could walk right up to the nearest person, while he or she tries to squeeze out a last-minute essay and whisper loudly into their fucking ear! It just works! How good!”

If you would also like to chance your arm at this wildly innovative and not at all frustrating thing that people do, then Jenn says there’s a whole range of other things you can try to spruce up your third-floor antics!

“I make a point of finding and eating the most obnoxious food that I can, knowing full well that no one wants to smell or see it but that also that there’s nothing they can do to stop me! Another crucial element is to make sure that I pack as much plastic wrapping as I can possibly muster! Then, when they least expect it, I’ll give it a good scrunching to make my presence felt! Then I just go back to whispering! Oh, and sighing and clearing my throat also does a job! Switching it up is a must, so that there’s plausible deniability!”

 

For more information on how to be an annoying dumb fuck at the library, please get in touch with Jen by dropping into one of her presentations, these can be found on the third floor!

 

Campbell Williamson has clearly been at Uni too long.