I’m dedicating today’s post to the kind man who offered me some Cheetos at 1am this morning in the Arts computer lab, and also to English lecturer Ned Curthoys, who is yet to receive my essay that was due today.

To be honest, I’d kind of forgotten about guild elections until I walked past Maddie Mulholland (STAR presidential candidate) in the Ref a few hours ago while en route to my daily kebab (falafel, with sweet chilli and garlic sauce). I sort of smiled at her and tried to make eye contact, but I don’t think she knows who I am, even though I’m pretty sure we went on law camp together, maybe. Is that not a bond for life? My memories of the law camp experience are admittedly hazy at best – essentially just a nightmarish montage of sweaty men in togas with a Gorillaz song playing over the top of it, capped off with some dude screaming “OH FUCK, WHO SHAT ON MY BED?” What I’m saying is, I might not actually remember very well what Ms Mulholland looks like. I’m a very busy student journalist, and can’t be expected to remember the names and distinguishing features of every single law student in a chic Marcs trench coat walking around campus.

I’ve recently been made aware that Star is an ACRONYM, and should therefore be styled STAR. Possibly Liberty Launch is an acronym, too. So much of this election is shrouded in mystery already. I feel very tired.

Re: Monday’s ballot draw. Sources have pointed out that STAR had fewer bodies in the room than their rivals Liberty Launch. I cannot confirm or deny this, as I was overwhelmed by existential malaise at the time. I can confirm that Launch (LAUNCH?) candidates were wearing more body paint than their peers. I can also confirm that my little brother went to primary school with Liam Staltari, who is running the Launch presidential campaign.

Other election rumours that may or not be interesting to you, pretty much contingent on how boring a person you are, include:

The supposed emergence of a new international student-oriented ticket! This is a deal, because international students usually give STAR a big vote boost.

Pelican has received some definitely totally unbiased reports from an anonymous source that Rhys Tucker (the Launch presidential candidate) “has focused so much on the Launch campaign that he has almost abandoned ECOMS, looking more like an ageing ceremonial leader than a Fac Soc president by the day”. I’d like to point out that these are anon’s words, not mine. I think that he looks like a very nice boy.

Launch’s new commie colour scheme has been abandoned by some disgruntled Young Liberals party members, who are now wearing blue in protest. A certain Guild staff member (Tony)  also ran into trouble today when he accidentally aligned himself with the newly formed UCK party by wearing a purple tie. Where will the madness end?

Keep the hot tipz coming to [email protected].

Words by Kat Gillespie


By Pelican Magazine

Pelican Magazine acknowledges the Whadjuk Noongar people as the Traditional Custodians of the land—Whadjuk Boodja—on which we live, write, and work. We pay our respects to Elders past and present. // Pelican is the second-oldest student publication in Australia and the only independent paper at UWA. If you like having opinions, writing, drawing, and/or free tickets to local events, then Pelican is the place for you! We print SIX themed issues a year, and run a stream of online content. // Email your 2024 Editors (Abbey Wheeler and Jack Cross) here: [email protected] // Where to find us: Upstairs in Guild Village. Address: M300, 35 Stirling Highway, Crawley 6009 WA // Pelican Magazine of the UWA Student Guild & The University of Western Australia.

3 thought on “25 Days of Guild Elections, Day 2: Only one official complaint received so far”
  1. As much as I hate to actively engage in Guild Politics, what *does* STAR stand for? Not its policies obviously, I can read those on one of the ten thousand green pieces of paper littering every room on campus, but what do the actual letters stand for?

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