Image description: the tier categories listed in this article are on a table, in the left column, in descending order. In the right column are small images of the politicians, placed so they correspond to their tier category as listed in the article.
By Lily Andrew
As any politics student and digital nomad would know, there is no greater responsibility, nay duty, than to keep the public informed. In times of such great uncertainty, rational and evidence-based analysis has never been more important. So, I ranked of some of Australia’s most treasured parliamentarians’ Instagrams.
Medicare Tier
Anyone who has seen Joe Hockey’s Instagram account will know exactly why he has nabbed a place on the top tier—years away in the wilderness of the US, and far from Auspol, has left this man to create an account so good it is easy to forget his tenure as treasurer.
Albo gets Medicare tier, my executive decision, I will not be accepting feedback.
He is followed closely by Malcolm Turnbull: while Turnbull reserves most of his shit-talking of the government for his Twitter followers, his Instagram is frequently filled with him kayaking around Sydney harbour—because he’s very rich.
Democracy Sausage Tier
Since Labor lost the election Bill Shorten has tried a new approach for his socials; something called ‘not giving a fuck’. Most recently photo-shopping Minister for Government Services Stuart Robert’s face onto Margret Thatcher’s body. I appreciate this form of Gram and so he is awarded democracy sausage status. He has also published a vlogging series of him driving to Canberra. Reality show for Bill please.
Bipartisanship Tier
For someone who has just travelled to Hawaii, Scott Morrison’s Insta is not great. It is clearly run by overpaid media advisors, but he is the PM so I’ll let this one slide.
I put Julia and Kevin in the same tier to avoid conflict. All in the spirit of bipartisanship.
Embroiled Minister Tier
Barnaby Joyce is fittingly placed in the Embroiled Minister tier because his Gram is far too finessed for it to be really him. There are no signs anywhere of a video featuring him calling for less government in our life while standing in a paddock of hay. Inauthenticity really is the Achilles heel of influencers, and politicians.
Resident onion eater Tony Abbott is also in this category because his account is clearly run by someone else—even though I’m sure he would have plenty of time now to finesse his own socials.
Work Choices Tier
Mark Latham and Peter Dutton ended up in the worst tier, Work Choices.
For Mark, it was simply the case that I got absolutely nothing from his profile except that he attends NRL games.
And for Peter, it was because no amount of pictures he posts with his dog will make me like him, sorry Peter, except not at all because you and the government repealed Medivac.
Clive’s Tier
Finally, Clive Palmer’s attempt at a cultural reset on his Instagram is noted. Although I don’t know how he has the time really, considering he is often tied up in court for underpaying his employees.
Image description: the tier categories listed in this article are on a table, in the left column, in descending order. In the right column are small images of the politicians, placed so they correspond to their tier category as listed in the article.
Lily acknowledges that a good Instagram is in no way redemption for bad policy.
Graphic courtesy of Lily Andrew