Melissa Black, a second year running on the STAR ticket as an ordinary guild councillor candidate, has admitted she “didn’t follow party branding” when she accidentally declared her belated support for the controversial French satirical rag, rather than the humourless UWA Guild party.

“I think I’m rooted,” she confessed to Pelican reporters. “I don’t know what to do: if I take it down it’ll look like I’m not in solidarity with Parisian freedom of expression circa 2015, and if I keep it up, the party’ll eat me alive for showing an ounce of individual expression. It’ll be like political suicide.”

Miss Black, who was already expected to take a beating in the polls due to her position on the ballot and the fact she wasn’t groomed from birth to be an OGC, admits that “This is only the latest in a long string of terrible mistakes that have led up to me running for guild.”

While STAR leadership have refused to comment on the situation, it’s expected that some punishment will be handed down. A senior STAR official implied that Melissa may be forced to lecture bash non-stop for the next six months, well after the end of the election cycle.

This follows a similar incident last year when a fresher running for Launch declared his support for the ‘Blue Lives Matter’ movement through a renegade Facebook DP frame. That however, was later found to be intentional and was to be incorporated into Launch’s 2017 manifesto.

Hugh Hutchison

By Pelican Magazine

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