I walk past this bone on my way to the bus stop every day and seeing this toddler’s femur is generally the highlight of my day. Today I walk to the bone and see it’s been shattered by some turgid fiend/rolled over by your mum’s Honda Civic. Rip in pieces Toddler’s Leg Bone.

This is a bone milk bottle and tooth made out of bone. It’s in a spot where I remember seeing a dog’s body. I imagine other travellers came across the body and bone-by-bone took what they needed, like some sort of slightly more grotesque version of The Giving Tree.

Me and my brother used to chuck the ol’ witches chin around after school. Sometimes I would try to hit him in the ear, but he’d be ready. Always popping and locking out of trouble. Like some poor-man’s Jumanji, I am cursed to hold this testament to bad oral hygiene until I learn a ‘valuable’ ‘life’ ‘lesson’. Pshh, whatever mum.

My neighbours are the worst, they’ve been giving food to the bandicoots again. I’ve never seen bandicoots so muscular and handsome in all my days. Every time you hear the Slim Dusty playlist start booming from over the fence, you know they’re going to start pouring cans of coke on the ground. I don’t know what their endgame is, but I for one can vouch that bandicoots are not worth the effort it takes to eat them.

Some dickhead wore this to a party I went to once. I was all like ‘Hey man I’m a vegetarian, I don’t like your ribcage and jaw piece necklace’. But he just turned and walked off!! He was about to go round the corner when he stopped, turned his head to look at me, and winked, instantly taking off into the nights sky. Tacky as all hell.

Words and Images by Jesse Wood

This article first appeared in print volume 88 edition 2 STOP

By Pelican Magazine

Pelican is one of the oldest student publications in Australia and the only independent paper at UWA. If you enjoy writing, then Pelican is the place for you! We print six themed issues a year, and run a stream of online content.

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