1. Hey look the Stormtroopers learned to aim, maybe it’s because their new helmets have eye holes in the right place
  2. Jakku may be even more of a shithole than Tatooine – if that’s even possible.
  3. Is Rey’s stick just a stick or does it shoot lasers? Her boots look so comfortable.
  4. BB-8 is the best thing about this movie. Is he a unique model or a new kind of astromech droid or just a beach ball that became sentient? Who knows? Who cares? Wookieepedia editors probably care.
  5. Han continues to give no shits about what parsecs are
  6. Ahhhh the Powerpoint scene transitions are back
  7. Finn is so useless, I love him and his bromance with Poe
  8. I get that Maz is supposed to be a wise Yoda-type character but she reminds me of Edna Mode from The Incredibles
  9. Hey look it’s the little Jedi training laser ball thing! And Space Chess! Let the Wookiee win.
  10. Is Rey a Skywalker or is it going to be another case of Immaculate Conception?
  11. Kylo Ren feels like a real person, not just a villain. He’s not just “evil”, he has issues, he loses his shit and he probably has had a lot of parental pressure to deal with
  12. It’s incredible how much emotion comes across despite the fact that he’s almost always masked.
  13. How does Ren’s hair stay so luscious under the helmet?
  14. No mention of midichlorians. Good. All I learned at Jedi Academy is that Midichlorians are the powerhouse of the force
  15. Threepio, forever a cockblock.
  16. If Threepio went from naked to silver to gold, should he be made of diamonds or something now?
  17. Oh look, his arm is red. How symbolic
  18. Hux a.k.a. Space Hitler a.k.a. Bill Weasley seems like a more interesting version of Tarkin or Piett. His relationship with Ren is interesting
  19. It looks like Captain Phasma is the new Boba Fett in the sense that the hype and fanbase is disproportionate to screen time
  20. Did she get put in the garbage compactor or not?!?
  21. Ben? Why not Obi-Wan? Or even Jacen, as it was in the EU?
  22. The cinematographic use of lightning when Han confronts his son is perfect.
  23. The unpolished sabre battles are a welcome change from the underwhelming choreography of the Original Triology and the pixel-perfect plays of the Prequels. Kylo Ren’s skill is questionable and it looks like his lightsabre is somewhat dysfunctional – possibly because he salvaged the crystal from Vader – while Rey relies on pure instinct with zero training
  24. Luke, I’m pretty sure that the Jedi Temple was on Coruscant, not on that rock in the Scottish Highlands
  25. I’m seeing this again in a few days – then – commence the countdown to Rogue One.


Words by Anonymous

By Pelican Magazine

Pelican is the second-oldest student publication in Australia and the only independent paper at UWA. If you like having opinions, writing, drawing, and/or free tickets to local events, then Pelican is the place for you! We print six themed issues a year, and run a stream of online content.

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