It’s been an intense couple of days in the Pelican universe. Lucky for us, it’s Sunday, and Launch’s campaign manager is probably sitting at home with some Netflix and a beverage, either a. calming down, or b. mobilising the troops for battle. In any case, hauling us over the coals has to wait till Monday, which means regular programming can resume. One guild elections piss-take coming up.

Kat and I crashed the law ball at Crown last night, so the latest is I’m never drinking again. We were having a wine at home beforehand and my dad called to say ‘when you inevitably get drunk tonight, Lucy, make sure you don’t let any people who aren’t fond of you right now catch you in a compromising position. Your mother also wants to know if you’ve got clean knickers.’ I definitely disappointed you on at least one of those counts, but thanks anyway mum and dad!

Every single guest looked incredibly beautiful. Most of the women present had seen the inside of Circles in Subiaco earlier that day. On the other hand, I wore a dress I bought for a themed party when I was 16. I would best describe it as ‘adequate.’

As we arrived we happened to be greeted by a cluster of STAR candidates. They move in groups, you see. It was all very friendly bar one sarcastic remark; something snarky about Kat being ‘woman of the hour.’ We won’t repeat the name of who said it here, because he’s clearly got BNOC on his agenda. Please play nice.

I had pleasant conversations with a few STAR office bearer candidates – namely about feminism on campus and how they obviously absolutely definitely were not the individuals responsible for leaking the screenshots. I didn’t talk to anyone from Launch, unfortunately. The biggest disappointment, though, was that I couldn’t find Pelican’s Biggest Fan David McCann. I really wanted to get a selfie with him. Bummer for me.

If you can believe it, polling begins tomorrow. I’ve spent most of the day comatose trying to avoid thinking about champagne, but I have garnered the strength to scroll through my news feed a couple of times and catch up on where the campaigns are at. Most notable is that the Birthday Party has jumped on the video bandwagon, posting a video to Facebook of presidential candidate Kallen White strolling around the Reflection Pond. Nothing new here, just more reiterations of his key election promise of sleeping pods in the library, and another solid deployment of that ‘two cheeks on the same backside’ line.

If you’ve found the last couple of days as tiresome as we have, you might like to familiarise yourself with the ballot before you hit the booths tomorrow. This isn’t a two party race. That is a long damn list.

As always, you can hit us up at [email protected]. See you at the booths :3

Words by Lucy Ballantyne

By Pelican Magazine

Pelican Magazine acknowledges the Whadjuk Noongar people as the Traditional Custodians of the land—Whadjuk Boodja—on which we live, write, and work. We pay our respects to Elders past and present. // Pelican is the second-oldest student publication in Australia and the only independent paper at UWA. If you like having opinions, writing, drawing, and/or free tickets to local events, then Pelican is the place for you! We print SIX themed issues a year, and run a stream of online content. // Email your 2024 Editors (Abbey Wheeler and Jack Cross) here: [email protected] // Where to find us: Upstairs in Guild Village. Address: M300, 35 Stirling Highway, Crawley 6009 WA // Pelican Magazine of the UWA Student Guild & The University of Western Australia.

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