The following is the foreword from veteran Liberal MP Wyatt Roy’s account of Tony Abbott’s time as Prime Minister ‘Nineteen Years of Conservative Brilliance’, published in 2040

Reflecting upon my own political career, I cannot dismiss the importance of Tony Abbott (or as the Australian public came to know him, ‘Uncle Tones’). I was elected to parliament in the tempest of falling Labor seats in the 2010 election. Despite our success, the Labor scoundrels stole a midnight march on us and secured a minority government with the help of some hippies and traitorous former Nationals. The next three years of opposition however characterized and emboldened Tony, and it was during this time that I saw his immortal greatness grow. As Opposition leader, Tony tore through Labor, and won a great victory at the 2013 election. From there he soared, introducing landmark reforms of Australian society and the economy, starting with the abolition of the Carbon Tax – a crowning achievement in his role as Minister for Women.

Tony had always been an advocate of women. Many lefty detractors claim the opposite of this, but I have seen firsthand Tony smiling at women, shaking their hands, winking in a friendly manner at them, even listening to them! And all along, he did the hard job by making all of the decisions vital to their lives for them, like a gentleman. This chivalrous attitude toward women was most encapsulated by the introduction of the ‘Ironing Board Bonus’ in 2021. The bonus ensured a $1200 payment annually for women who maintained their traditional roles in the home. Boldly ignoring protests from lefty organizations, Tony always knew what was best for the women of this great nation.

Like all great Australian Prime Ministers including Menzies, Howard, and Holt, Abbott was not always popular. His first term was plagued by criticism, especially fueled by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation which, after its reorganization under Turnbull, became the Abbott Broadcasting Network. Issues such as climate change, gay marriage and boat people all threatened to dislodge Abbott’s logical and bold vision. However once again, Abbott was too wise to listen to the voice of scientists, popular opinion, and the United Nations.

When former Prime Minister (and former UN Secretary-General) Rudd referred to climate change as the ‘great moral challenge’ of our time, Tony was insightful enough to see what this climate change nonsense really was – a ploy by green energy companies to wrong-foot their fossil fuel rivals in the market. Tony, a keen friend of coal and its benefits for humanity was able to carve a swathe through the greedy hippies that tried to destroy the coal market, and abolish the Carbon Tax set up by the previous Labor government. While nations all around the world gave into the green conspiracy, Tony knew better. Despite the sanctions against Australia currently being discussed in the UN for our non-compliance with internationally agreed carbon reduction schemes, Tony knew, as I still do, that soon enough this conspiracy will unravel, and his decisions will be vindicated.

At the start of Abbott’s term, he declared that he would be the infrastructure Prime Minister. He built roads crisscrossing the nation, including the bridge from the mainland to Tasmania. Additionally, the NDN (National Dial-up Network) had provided Internet speeds of up to 20mbps to all homes within a 20-kilometer radius of the CBD of each capital city.

On foreign policy issues, Tony was wise in always following our faithful friend and ally, the USA. When they engaged ISIS in the Middle East, so did we. When the US, in 2023 under Jeb Bush, invaded the rest of the Middle East, we obliged. Despite losing Western Australia to the Chinese after Abbott’s ill-fated declaration of war in 2028, I still firmly believe that he acted in the best interests of our nation.

Domestically, Abbott made an impassioned speech in late 2015 about his stance on so-called ‘marriage equality’ in Australia. Looking directly into the camera, he stated “How will I be able to look my grandchildren in the eye and say that I allowed two people who love each other get married when I don’t agree with it?” Though marriage equality was eventually passed by the Labor-Greens Coalition government in 2033, Abbott’s steadfast refusal made Australia the last Western country to have it outlawed, and for that I think we can all be proud.

Resigning in 2032, Tony has since sat on the board of News Corp, started a charity for disadvantaged aristocracy, and has written extensively on his time in office. Tony, you will be missed, but never forgotten.

Words by Wyatt Roy

Leader of the Liberal Party (2038 – Present)