By Anjna Singh
Why self-confidence sometimes disappears
If you find yourself doubting your own thoughts, avoiding decisions, or feeling like you’re not capable even when you’re doing well, you’re not imagining it. Many students report feeling like they’ve lost trust in themselves. They hesitate to speak up, avoid asking for help, or feel anxious even when there’s no clear reason. These patterns are often linked to earlier experiences of stress, fear, or emotional hardship—especially when those experiences happened over a long time or during childhood. This isn’t just emotional. It’s biological. These types of experiences can actually change how the brain works and how you think about yourself.
What happens when the brain is under constant stress
When you go through a situation that feels overwhelming or unsafe, your brain goes into survival mode. This activates the body’s stress system, also known as the HPA axis (hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal). The brain releases a hormone called cortisol, which helps you deal with immediate danger. But if stress keeps happening over time, this system can stay active even when you’re not in danger anymore. That can affect how the brain develops and functions.
Three important brain areas are especially affected:
1. Amygdala – This part of your brain acts like an alarm system. It helps you sense danger. After long periods of emotional stress, it becomes more sensitive. That means you may feel anxious or threatened even in safe situations.
2. Hippocampus – This area helps with memory and learning. High cortisol can shrink the hippocampus, making it harder to learn new information or understand that the past is over. That’s why something small in the present might remind you of something painful and make you feel like it’s happening again.
3. Prefrontal cortex – This is the part of the brain that helps you focus, make decisions, and control emotions. When you’ve been through too much stress, this part can become less active. That makes it harder to stay calm, solve problems, or think clearly during pressure. These brain changes explain why some people react strongly to everyday situations or struggle to manage their emotions and confidence.
How negative thinking patterns are learned
The way you think about yourself is shaped by your early relationships and environment. If you were often criticised, ignored, or made to feel like you didn’t matter, you may have developed negative beliefs about yourself. Psychology calls these schemas. They are deep, automatic patterns of thinking that affect how you see yourself and others.
Some common schemas formed after difficult experiences include:
• Believing you’re not good enough
• Expecting others to hurt or reject you
• Thinking your feelings don’t matter
• Believing you always need to be perfect to be accepted
Even if your current life is safe or successful, these beliefs can remain in the background. You might explain away your achievements or feel like a fraud, even when others see you as capable.
What research shows about long-term effects
Studies using brain scans have shown real changes in people who lived through longterm stress, especially during childhood. One study found that children from high-stress environments had larger amygdalae and smaller hippocampi compared to others. Another study showed that university students under academic pressure had reduced activity in the part of the brain responsible for focus and planning. Psychologists have also shown that people who feel powerless in stressful situations may stop trying altogether. This is called learned helplessness, a term from research in the 1970s. When people feel like nothing they do will help, they stop believing their actions matter. Over time, this leads to low motivation, reduced confidence, and depression.
How the brain can recover
The brain can change. This ability is called neuroplasticity. With practice, support, and time, you can build new connections in the brain that support better thinking, emotional control, and confidence. Therapy, education, and even lifestyle changes like sleep, nutrition, and exercise can help the brain recover from chronic stress. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps people notice and change negative thoughts. Research shows it improves emotional balance and activates the prefrontal cortex— the part of the brain that helps with control and planning. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a type of therapy that helps people reprocess painful memories. It’s especially helpful for people who feel stuck in the past or overwhelmed by reminders of earlier events. Mindfulness and meditation help calm the nervous system. Brain scans show that regular mindfulness practice strengthens areas of the brain linked to focus and emotional control, including the prefrontal cortex and the insula. Social support is also important. When you feel safe with others, your brain releases calming chemicals like oxytocin. That helps balance stress responses and reminds your system that you’re not alone.
What this means for students
If you find it hard to believe in yourself, struggle with confidence, or feel anxious without knowing why, it might be because your brain has learned to protect you in ways that no longer serve you. These are not personality flaws. They are patterns built by experience—and they can be changed. You might avoid risk because your brain expects failure. You might overwork because you’ve learned that only success earns safety. Or you might feel numb or disconnected because your brain is trying to reduce emotional pain. These are all signs of a system that’s been under too much pressure for too long. Understanding this can help you stop blaming yourself. More importantly, it gives you a starting point for change.
What you can do
Grounding exercises help calm the body and bring your attention to the present. You can try breathing deeply, touching a textured object, or naming five things you can see around you. These techniques help reset your nervous system and reduce anxiety. Writing things down can also help. You don’t have to write a journal every day. Even short notes about what you feel, need, or want can help your brain organise your thoughts. Talking to someone trained in mental health—like a psychologist or counsellor— can help you understand how your brain and beliefs were shaped and how to rebuild trust in yourself. UWA offers free support for students.
You are not imagining the way you feel
The brain changes when it goes through long-term stress, but it can also recover. Believing in yourself again is possible. It starts with understanding what’s happening in your mind and body, and knowing that it’s not your fault. It’s biology. And it can change.
If you want to read more:
‘The Body Keeps the Score‘ Bessel van der Kolk
‘What Happened to You?‘ Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry
‘Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving‘ Pete Walker
‘Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers‘ Robert Sapolsky