Student Guild Elections 2023: Get to know RATS
Students at UWA will have the opportunity to elect next year’s Student Guild Council later this month. Campaigning has begun and this article introduces the RATS ticket.
Voting begins on the 18th of September and end on the 21st. Polling will occur on campus but you can also apply for a postal vote by the 15th of September by 4pm at the latest. Every UWA student can vote and voting is not compulsory. See here for more information and to apply for a postal vote.
What makes your party different?
At RATS (rats) we don’t believe in being different. How can a machine function without thousands and thousands of strikingly similar cogs? We see you, the people, as our inevitable fellow SWARM members. No one likes a RAT who sticks out, am I right guys?
What’s your vision for the Guild in 2024?
Dust.
If you had been represented on the Council this year, what would you have done differently?
Did you know that in 2022 the Guild lost $498,121? We’d have probably at least had another look for it.
Which of your policies are you most excited about?
Picture this: Winthrop Hall? Parking. James Oval? Parking. Beasley Law Library? It’s Parking. Octagon Theatre? Uh, I’m puttin’ my car there. EZONE? Back it up baby. Physics? More like 3 hours free (parking). Guild Village? Rat Nest. QEII Medical Centre? “Beep Beep! Get Ready for the future”.
What do you think the Guild is lacking at the moment?
There are a number of key aspects that the Guild is evidently lacking, and these particular areas have frankly led to a lack of relatability with students, as well as a large detriment to the Guild’s effectiveness as a body.
Thankfully, however, in lieu of a full restructuring of the systems in place, several key features can be implemented to set the Guild on the best path possible. Some of these features include: effective budget control through reallocation of financial positions, a new advertising campaign to regain the trust of students, short dark fur, a change in the attitudes of Guild members to reflect the student body, a de-glovable tail, adorable little rat paws, and of course ten additional nipples.
What’s the most compelling reason for students to vote for you?
I’ll level with you guys. I need this. My life so far has been a series of downward spirals. Each time I thought I found rock bottom, a newer and much rockier bottom has presented itself magnanimously to my eager and waiting snout. My life has been equal parts calamity and embarrassment, like Chernobyl evacuating its bowels on the first day of Year Eight. There is very little that could lower me further. And yet, losing this election would be the final straw, the last nail in my pre-ordered and value range coffin. If you’ve ever refused to meet the gaze of someone homeless who’s begging you for the change that you definitely do have in your pocket, know this. I am going to hell. I’ve made my peace with that. But this could be your final chance at redemption. Vote RATS.