January promises New Year’s Resolutions, going to the gym, venturing outside and getting your life together. The reality is, however, that soon enough we slip into our old habits. Nothing cushions the sad, sinking feeling of falling into the void while you pick at last night’s half eaten kebab than pairing it with a glass of wine to dull the pain. Here, we bring you wine pairings for your saddest junk meals to keep your holiday blues at bay.

 

A Half Eaten Kebab

 

That kebab you ordered last night at 3am after stumbling out of the Court is now sitting, neglected and half eaten on the kitchen bench floor. At the time it seemed like a great idea, but as it stares back at you now, frighteningly room temperature, it’s starting to lose its appeal. Bring it back to life by matching it nicely with a fruity glass of Riesling. Its acidity not only cuts through the salty grease of the kebab, but also the foggy memories of last night’s transgressions.

 

Pickles, Straight from the Jar

 

There’s giving up, and then there’s hitting rock bottom. The latter looks like standing in front of the fridge at 2 in the morning and mindlessly eating salty pickles straight from the jar. Turn this sad, pitiful moment into a joyous occasion by pouring yourself a glass of punchy, skin contact sauvignon blanc. This is also best served straight from the bottle in the wee hours of the morning, as you stand in front of the open fridge gazing blankly into the light.

 

Big Mac

 

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed buuuuuuuuuun. The iconic burger goes well with light and juicy reds. Try it with a glass of super easy drinking Tempranillo and you’ll be drooling on the mic in no time.

 

Cereal

Start your day off right by dousing your Special K in Bailey’s instead of milk, the ultimate breakfast beverage. Pour it in your coffee or in a smoothie to really get you going in the morning.

 

Cold Pizza

 

Staying in the breakfast category, nothing tastes better than a slice of last night’s pizza cold from the fridge. Elevate this culinary delight with an Italian classic, a nice glass of delicious Chianti. This Tuscan delight will transport you straight to sunny Florence without even having to leave your kitchen.

 

Instant Noodles

 

These salty two-minute thrills pair brilliantly with bright and simple wine. While you wait for the microwave to ping, pour yourself a light and fresh Pinot Gris or Pinot Grigio. The light-bodied wine accompanies the saltiness well, and with all the money you’re saving by eating packet ramen for every meal you can afford to have that extra glass.

 

Burrito

 

The Mad Mex v Zambreros v Guzman v Gomez debate is constantly raging on. Luckily, choosing the perfect wine to go with a fat burrito is not so difficult. It’s hard to deny that nothing goes better with this Mexican meal than a delicious glass of zesty rosé. Failing that, slap on your sombreros and bust out the margarita mix!

Words by Ava Cadee
Ava hopes you are having a productive summer while she watches every single credit on Ben Schwartz’s iMDB page.