When I was young (so around now), I really wanted to know what Tubby toast tasted like (if you don’t know what this is, they ate it on the Teletubbies. Focus your thoughts). Anyway, is anyone else pinning the success of their week on whether the Politics Club’s reimagining of Kitchen Cabinet makes them feel some kind of positive emotion? Same! When I saw that Politics Club had dropped some teasers in the form of GOOD graphics (pictures and five food related questions for each presidential candidate), I spent ten minutes composing myself (head in hands on the sofa to the sounds of NBA2K17 courtesy of my housemate) before placing a cloth napkin on my lap (it was actually just a paper napkin that I found in an Uber Eats bag) and began to read. And with no expectations other than the thought that I am obsessed with the Food Channel that plays on free to air television (but not as much as 9Life am I fucking right?), I found a whole heap of human connection.

Here, I present the most important parts of this experience (in an easily digestible format):

  1. Megan Lee’s favourite cooking show is Ready, Steady, Cook? For some reason this seemed really important to me (and to past ALVA president Cale Black because he confirmed it in a Facebook comment as “one of the greatest shows” (what are the others?)). This show gets the audience to vote for which dish wins despite never fucking tasting anything, they seriously just watch someone else eat it and go from there.
  2. Katie McAllister (the Politics Club’s Kitchen Cabinet host) got cropped out of Megan’s photo like it was being used for new profile picture.
  3. Scott John (presidential candidate for Left Action) is wearing a fantastic outfit (I think Michael has this shirt, but in red?)
  4. Scott’s favourite cooking show (Masterchef) is the same show that features his MOST HATED chef. How can you watch Masterchef when the person constantly judging contestants food is someone you hate enough to list when asked who your favourite chef is? Not to say the dislike is unwarranted, but I’m intrigued.
  5. Michael McKenzie is wearing a UWA jumper I spent ages looking at in the Co-Op last week, but did not purchase.
  6. On closer inspection, Michael’s picture is the only one not in a kitchen setting.
  7. Caleb Holmes (Yes For Marriage Equality Presidential Candidate) listed his favourite cooking show as Escape to River Cottage 1999, very specific and stopping any confusion that his favourite show could have possibly been River Cottage Forever, Return to River Cottage or Beyond River Cottage (and definitely not River Cottage Australia, which I never felt had the same charm or wholesomeness, though my family disagrees).

After reading, I felt like I was well on my way to knowing these people. But, to be fair, no one said their favourite show is Alive and Cooking so I am yet to find someone I connect with. I’ll see what happens. Today I finished layout and had a coffee that tasted like lettuce. Hope your day was just as good?

Words by Bryce Newton.

Send your best recipes to pelican@guild.uwa.edu.au