As of 5pm today, voting is over.
I write this at 4:56, so maybe some of you are rushing down to the polls right now, hoping to be the final vote that gets your candidate over the line. Not likely though.
Guild Elections are over, or at least, the voting bit is. Still to come are the results for major candidates, followed by the results for ordinary guild councillor positions, which should be out next week.
In addition to getting some of the results, tomorrow marks the 25th and final day of our coverage. I would say I will miss this level of journalistic intensity, but I won’t. Moving on.
Did you know that this entire election took place while Mercury was in retrograde, and this period ended today, the same day polling closes? Coincidence? I think not. Our in-house astrologer (a fully salaried position) tells me that while Mercury is in retrograde, communication is disrupted, and one should not attempt journalism of any form. If only I had listened. The retrograde period also disrupts technologies, which explains why the guild’s servers were down, and why Launch never got a website. I am also told that one shouldn’t have any form of cosmetic surgery in a retrograde period, luckily a combination of student budget and naturally stunning good looks saved me from any medical maladies that may have befallen me.
I leave you with our exclusive exit polls.
Words (barely) by Hayden Dalziel
Never send us anything, except bribes. email@example.com